Mandolin's World

Have the Audacity to Live your Best Life

For far too long I have been dipping my toes into the water, not wanting to go too deep, not wanting to fully expose myself. But the wounds of the past became too heavy, the burdens ran too deep. The fear gripped me, the limiting beliefs held me back.

I am now ready to fully embrace my truth and release it out into the world.

Mandolin’s World

It fascinates me that the world can be both cruel and beautiful at the same time; a balance between good and evil. And yet, somehow, it is all in perfect harmony. The yin to the yang, the sun to the moon, the dark to the light. Polarities that need each other in order to thrive.

My story begins as a young child that had a nighttime stalker who would come into my room and do unspeakable things. That lead to me becoming friends with other “broken” kids, which lead to more desperate times. At the age of 15, I was drugged and raped. I started skipping school and breaking all the rules. I partied, broke curfew, smoked pot. I lashed out at the cruelness of the world, not knowing how to process my emotions and everything that had happened to me. I was a very troubled young lady looking for love in all the wrong places.

And that started the cycle of toxic relationships.

I was so desperate for love that I was willing to sacrifice myself in order to receive it. I didn’t see it at the time, but I had created limiting beliefs in my subconscious mind that told me I wasn’t worthy, I wasn’t deserving of anything better, I wasn’t loveable. So when anyone showed me any kind of affection, I gladly accepted it. This pattern continued for decades. I was a victim, and I constantly put myself in situations where I continued to be a victim.

I experienced all forms of abuse while in various toxic relationships. Men with a God complex who needed control. I was so naïve to think any of them loved me. I have been lied to, cheated on, emotionally manipulated, physically hurt, sexually exploited. My house has been raided by the police (my first husband 20+ years ago). I’ve dealt with tempers, anger issues, police being called, fear for my safety, drugs, alcohol. You name it, I’ve been in those shoes. I have been divorced twice and bankrupt twice.

The last relationship very nearly killed me.

A narcissist draws you in, manipulates you, and then he tears you down. He strips you of your confidence, your dignity, and your sanity. You don’t see it coming and suddenly he has power over you, he controls your entire life. My second husband isolated me away from family and friends, he emptied my bank account, drained all of my savings, and racked up my credit card. He made me feel small. I was all alone, way up north, with another monster. I slept a lot, and I cried every day.

And then I got really sick. My body was trying to communicate what my mind could no longer handle. I was not on the path that was meant for me, I was out of alignment. I had been burying a lifetime of grief and pain, hidden away where no one could see it. I suffered in silence but my body was keeping the score.

I went for test after test, bloodwork, ultrasounds, CT scans. No diagnosis could be found. I was extremely fatigued, stressed and depressed. This was the dark night of my soul. My darkest hour. And in my darkest hour, grace found me.

The Hero’s Comeback

I didn’t grow up in a religious or spiritual home. I didn’t know much about either topic. What I do know is that when I needed help the most, it was there. Grace is something that is inside each of us, it is that sacred space within you; your intuition, your deep inner knowing and wisdom, your connection to source, our creator. Divinity is within us and it is all around us. And during the darkest time of my life, the light was revealed to me. It came from within me and illuminated my true path. I could see my soul’s purpose, and I chose to boldly follow the yellow brick road.

This was the catalyst for the quantum flip in my life. I began connecting all the dots of my life, looking through the looking glass and suddenly it all made sense. My mind was blown as I discovered the truth about life. I had cracked the code.

We are so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. When you understand the universal laws of life, anything is truly possible. We all have the power within us to create a life that we love. We have the power of thought, we have the power of choice, and we have the power to co-create our lives. Love is the force that drives everything. When you lead your life with love, you invite more love into your life. When you believe you are a victim, you invite more broken people back into your life. It’s all energy. What you throw out is what you get back. Discovering your underlying beliefs and removing the ones that are not serving you will change your life. When you use your energy with intention, you can create any life that you wish.

I am not saying that changing your life is going to be easy, or that it will happen overnight. Most people think that we have to work harder in the external world in order to achieve everything that we desire. In my opinion, that is actually backwards. The real journey begins within yourself and as you change the thoughts you think and you release any limiting beliefs you have, the people, places, and things in your outer world also begin to shift. When you understand yourself on a deep core level, that is where lasting change occurs. When you love yourself, you no longer make decisions that are not in your highest good.

I decided that my past was my old story and that I was ready to create a new reality for myself. We so often get stuck in the events of the past that we fail to see that we can release them any time we choose. I listened to my intuition, I asked for guidance, and I aligned my energy. I walked away from everything known to me, I removed myself from the toxic environment, I released everything that was no longer serving me and my health returned. I began eating foods that nourished my body, I went for nature walks, I meditated, and I journaled out my feelings which settled my nervous system.

I am now more vibrant than ever before. I am excited to wake up each day and see where life wants to take me. I shifted from the victim mentality to one of positivity where there are infinite possibilities available to me. I changed the vibe I was sending out to the universe, and magic and miracles began showing up in my life.

I had a four-leaf clover fall out of my book. I believe this was a sign from the universe that my luck had changed. I had new doors and opportunities appear in my life. I started dreaming about what my best life would look like, and then I started making decisions that would help get me there.

I walked away from my legal career to pursue a career that resonated with my heart. I no longer wanted to fight, I wanted to love. It became my mission to learn how to help people overcome trauma; to inspire and empower others that it’s never too late to live your best life – if you have the audacity to ask for more.

I am now a certified Heal Your Life® Coach and Workshop Facilitator, authorized by Hay House. Through doing this work I discovered the power of positivity, the power of our minds, the power of doing the inner work, and the power of connecting our mind, body and soul together in perfect harmony.

I am writing my first book. I am creating beautiful healing sessions. I am putting myself out there. I am allowing my vulnerability to be my beacon of light. I am stepping forward boldly with confidence and courage. I continue to deepen my awareness and connection to the universe. I believe in the work that I do. It completely changed my life, and it can change yours too.

I am manifesting the life of my dreams. I know that the possibility already exists in the quantum field, and I am calling it in. I have faith. I trust in the divine timing of my life, and I continue to work everyday towards that which I desire. This isn’t a fairytale and there’s no magic pill. But with the right mindset and the right tools, anything truly is possible.

Sending my love out into the world.

This is Mandolin’s World.

Love, Light, and Peace.

And so it is.